these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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