we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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