The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
