Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We're too hungover to prance.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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