Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
