I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
