i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
