I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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