Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
