sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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