I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
