I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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