Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
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