Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
