How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
