Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
