where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
