Yo dont text me then not text me
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Randomize
