So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
