Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
