She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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