Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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