Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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