Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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