you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
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