who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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