found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
