I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
