Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
