Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
