Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The adults are the big ones right?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
