sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Alive.
So much puke
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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