We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
