Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
