You're my little dorito
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
