no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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