"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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