when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
