Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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