operation harelip BJ is a go
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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