Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
