just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
