Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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