God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This is classic penis vs brain.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
