PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
