is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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