I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
