remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
