I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
