Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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