if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
