She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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