u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
