Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
handjob tips. give me some.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
