But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
