i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
